Saturday, March 27, 2010

A Dark Room

Having examined the biblical description of belief and faith, I turn inward now to ask myself a question. I have heard many Christians described the events which led to their personal conversion (the how) but I want to address the question of why I became a Christian.

Up until that point in my life, I would not characterize myself as a religious man, I did not own a bible and the few occasions that I attempted to read, biblical passages left me bewildered and unsatisfied. To simply state my answer, I heard and I believed. What was it that I heard? The oration of four biblical scriptural points:
  1. First, I heard that God simply loved me
  2. Second, I heard that God loves me despite the reality that I didn’t love God.
  3. Third, I heard that I didn’t love God because I didn’t know God (this was a result of being separated from God by sin).
  4. Finally, I heard that God offers a way for me to be reconciled to a spiritual relationship with Him through the sacrificial death of His son, Jesus Christ.
Once I heard this, I believed it to be true; I still believe it today.

Faith to me is like being in a darkened room, unable to see anything. In this room, a light is revealed to me; it is the light of God revealed in scripture. The bible says that no one has ever seen God, so I can offer no conclusive evidence to what God looks like. The bible does cite instances (primarily in the Old Testament) of people hearing the voice of God. I have never heard God’s voice, so I cannot say what God looks or sounds like. There have been those who have claimed to have heard God but subsequent actions by these people refute that claim.

In any case, I live in a world which for me spiritually speaking, is a darkened room. I have been given light, illumination and visibility through the revelation of biblical scripture. I am aware of the various kinds of light in this world but find little benefit in applying these forms of light to my spiritual journey. It has taken me many years to discover that my journey involves a daily communion with God; even though I can’t see or hear Him. My faith compels me to believe that God will direct my path for me because I need direction.

It is a humbling admission to say, “I’m incapable of doing what’s right, knowing what’s right or saying what’s right.” I have learned that more often than not, I just foul things up in such a complete way that brings hurt, pain and sorrow to those I genuinely care about. It’s not my intent to hurt. I can’t help it, I’m predisposed (inclined) to think, say and do the wrong thing. I want to be a better man and so I ask God to direct me today. After years of relying on my intelligence and failing miserably, I’ve come to realize that I just don’t know the answers; I never did but I believe God does.

So each day, I pray to the God which no man has seen, asking for wisdom and understanding to correctly apply biblical scripture in my life. I can honestly say that reading the bible has shown me something which I never acknowledged until now, I didn’t trust God.

Trust is not something earned, it is given. You do or you don’t; there is no wait and see with trusting. For years, I waited for God to prove Himself to me. Over time, I became frustrated and discouraged; until I could no longer trust God. I didn’t understand that God had no need to prove Himself to me. God was not under obligation to my needs, wants and desires. I have discovered (to my shock and amazement) that God really is sovereign, God is without peer; God stands alone. God will do what God chooses to do. God can bless and extend mercy to whomever He chooses.

God established a covenant with me through Jesus Christ and I can find no flaws in the execution and maintenance of that covenant. If there are problems, I have discovered that it is I who am at fault.

My faith in Christ requires dependence upon the light of biblical truth each day and every moment of my life. I am thankful that though the room is dark, God gives me light.

4 comments:

Jane said...

Thanks for dropping by my blog. Appreciate your frank sharing. I too have discovered that God is sovereign and will do what He chooses to do, and blesses and extends mercy to whomever He chooses, though I can't understand why He chooses to bless whom and not another person? But I believe that God is love and His grace is sufficient for all who believe in Him.

Shane from Christian Articles Resource said...

Thats a very concise way way of explaining some core biblical truths. Thanks for the good read!

MTJ said...

Jane: I'm glad I found your blog, your writing is a source of encouragement. I do look forward to reading more of what you share with this community.

Shane: I'm glad you enjoyed this post. I visited CAR today and it looks as if your site is a facilitator for Christian writers and publications. Though I'm unfamiliar with CAR, I see you've been on the Internet since 2007. It's good to know that there is a site dedicated to "providing Christian authors and content providers a place to come together for quality online publishing."

Nicole said...

"When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12

Your description of faith reminded me of that verse.

I am so glad I decided to start at your blog from the beginning, this answers my question I emailed you so ignore that! =)

It also reminds me of John 3, It's really long but I will be posting that tomorrow so if you don't get a chance to look it up today you can come read it there tomorrow. (about proving Himself)

and on another part... I don't really know if I have ever heard God but there have been a few times that when I was praying, and it was always after a time when I was ready to give up and just crying out, that it was just a voice in my head, some could say my subconscious, but it was so clear. It was just Him replying back to me that it would be alright or just a comforting little, 'you got it!' plus it was usually after I told Him I really needed help in this letting go part and trusting Him to take care of it. Stop trying to change things or do something all on my own because really we can't do anything without God's help!
Plus He does tend to send signs after praying, sometimes it's with a song that comes up, a blog, a verse when you are reading your bible or even a little rambling blond 3 year old saying something that makes it all better.
It was really hard after losing a friend of 15 years about a month ago. He was really there to comfort me and didn't hold it against me when I was yelling at Him and just asking why and needing that comfort.

Dang, did it again.. sorry, didn't mean to ramble.. ok, off to clean some more. Have a great day!