Hostage No More (Part 2)

Unforgiveness makes me a spiritual hostage

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”¹

As he hung there on the cross, Jesus revealed his ability to understand, that human thought is incapable of knowing how to do what is right without guidance from God. Only God has that ability to comprehend that our failure to know what is right also means that we often don’t know what we’re doing. I realize that although I’m not God, I tend to act like a little god when it comes to forgiving others. I hold on to those past hurts, offenses and grudges.

Why?

In my former way of thinking, I believed a person (or persons) needed to be punished for what they said or did to me. I took things personally, very personally! I wanted vengeance, I wanted to return the hurt and I wanted to know you were being punished severely. Although I’m incapable of elevating myself to the level of deity, I am quite skilled in devaluing others so that they received (what I thought was their just) punishment. The only way that happened was by making myself a spiritual hostage to unforgiveness. I’ve blindly witnessed (the consistency of) how this unforgiveness scenario played out in my life:

1. I charged someone with an offense
2. I prosecuted the offender
3. I sentenced the offender
4. I punished the offender

Whether you’re passive aggressive or openly hostile, I believe unforgiveness follows this road which leads to becoming a spiritual hostage. Going down this road has taught me that I will encounter the same (predictable) results. If I don’t want to be a spiritual hostage, then I had to stop following these steps. I needed a new understanding of biblical forgiveness.

The way of forgiveness (Hostage No More):

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”²

God then, doesn’t ask me to forgive, He commands me to forgive! I am compelled to obey God if my desire is to please Him in my life because:

“…to obey is better than sacrifice…”³

I believe in order to be a spiritual hostage no more; I must choose to say the words: I forgive you, when someone offends me. I may not believe this at first, I may even want to repeat that judicial process I’ve gone through in the past and revert to being a spiritual hostage. But by speaking the words of forgiveness, I discovered the truth of forgiving:

I no longer place more value on the offense than the person who offended me.

I choose to forgive by losing (letting go and forgetting) the memory of the offense; I can no longer recall it.

How do I let go and forget?

Stop replaying the experience over and over again in my mind by forgetting it.

Speak the words of forgiveness and be a hostage no more.

If you are harboring hurts, memories and pain from others, you need to free yourself and those who hurt you. I remember a comedy skit by The Three Stooges called, Niagara Falls. In this skit, every time the phrase Niagara Falls was mentioned, the character would become enraged; beating poor Curly until he regained his composure. It’s the same for the spiritual hostage of unforgiveness. The memory of the experience is a continuous loop, replaying in our mind again and again; keeping us a spiritual hostage. People say, “I can forgive, but I will never forget”, and think that they have done everything God requires. I do not believe this to be complete because:

1. I was unwilling to devalue what happened and therefore unwilling to forget.
2. I was unwilling to forget what happened and therefore I refused to honestly forgive.
3. I was unwilling to forgive what happened so I condemned a person to my own personal form of punishment.

But when I look at biblical forgiveness, how God forgives me, I see just the opposite of what I choose to do as an unforgiving spiritual hostage:

God the Father looks at the cross where Jesus hung and died for my sin. This memory of His Son, is a reminder against any accusation of my redemption. The reality is that Christ saved me, washed away my sins. My sin isn’t a memory, it’s gone and forgotten! We tend to forget about things that we no longer value. I’m a creature of habit because I need to repeat the same things in order to remember it. When I come home, my keys are always put in the same place. What about my clothes, shoes, coat, gloves, important documents, wallet, tablet, or cellphone? A place for everything, and everything in its place. When I change my routine, and put something in a different place, what happens? I can’t find it!

Biblical forgetting, is no longer having a memory of something. When I eliminate a value to an offense, I will forget it happened.

As a condemned sinner, I had no hope of forgiveness without Jesus Christ. The bible says,

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”⁴

There are particles in the air that cannot be seen without magnification. My life as a condemned sinner cannot be magnified to a visibility where it overshadows the redemptive work of Jesus Christ. At one time, I carried my sin and condemnation with me wherever I went. At Calvary, it was nailed on the cross with Jesus; swallowed up by his atonement. As the bible says,

“Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting…The sting of death is sin…But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”⁵

Paul writes in Hebrews:

“This is the covenant I will make with them after that time, says the Lord. I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds.” Then he adds: “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.”⁶

This scripture taken from the Old Testament book of Jeremiah 31:33-34, illustrates the beauty of the grace of God. Where grace is given, sin is forgotten. The grace we receive from God must be extended to others by us.

Do you want to forgive?

Begin by giving grace and forgetting; then say, “I forgive you”.

It’s time to be a hostage no more!

MTJ

Footnotes:

1. Luke 23:34, NIV
2. Matthew 6:14, NIV
3. 1 Samuel 15:22, NASB
4. John 3:16, NIV
5. 1 Corinthians 15:54-57, NIV
6. Hebrews 10:16-17, NIV

A Note of Thanks: I would just like to say Thank you, to each of you who visit My Thought-filled Journey. Taking time out of your busy schedule to read a post on this blog encourages me. Many of those who visit, will from time to time leave a comment, but it really doesn't matter whether a comment is left. What matters, is that you came here. I hope you find encouragement and inspiration in these words. Please know I will pray with you regarding any circumstance you may be facing. Feel free to write me to say "Hello", request prayer, or share what God is doing in your life. I have not said it enough, but thank you for the light of Christ in your life which illuminates the way for us all.

Note: This post is linked to Spiritual Sundays (hosted by Charlotte).

Hostage No More (Part 1)

Are you being held hostage by unforgiveness?

During the past twelve months, I’ve had the opportunity to meet people from Croatia and Bosnia; people who shared their stories of what life was like in their country. What do you say to a person who lost a husband when neighbors stormed their home in the dark of night and shot him dead? I’ve never lived in a war-torn region, so I don’t know what it’s like to huddle in a bomb shelter. I don’t have a sister who was raped by soldiers. I’m reminded of the mass murders which occurred in Rwanda. Routine shootings that have become commonplace in urban cities like Chicago and Los Angeles.

Some face the sting of racism, bigotry, or hatred. Political philosophies differ causing people to say or do hurtful things. Religious behavior can dictate actions which bring shame upon the core values we claim to believe. Sometimes a hurt can't be caused in such a subtle way that it doesn't heal. We who cause hurts, move on past the rubble (while we are oblivious to the damage) much like a driver navigating around an accident they caused.

Experiencing pain caused by others leaves some of us with an emptiness and sadness. Some are left with feelings of resentment, bitterness, and anger. We face experiences in our lives that genuinely cause pain, sadness, and sorrow (to our self and others). What I’ve learned is that it’s not what I experience in my life that matters most. What matters most is how I respond, how I react, how I deal with my painful, uncomfortable, and troubling experiences.

Many years ago, I heard a speaker talk about forgiveness using Matthew 18:18 as his text:

“Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”¹

The point of emphasis in his message is that when we fail to forgive, regardless of the offense, we bind that sin to our life as well. He shared some statistics about alcoholics being the children of alcoholics, and abusers having themselves been abused. It was very compelling to hear. The problem with hearing something compelling is that far too often, we identify it with someone else; not me, myself and I.

I believe that because of my unwillingness to forgive, I was held hostage by my own emotions of anger, ego, resentment, and my personal need for vengeance. Something which I’ve written about before on the subject of forgiveness is that I refuse to forgive because it doesn’t allow me to act as prosecutor, judge, and jury against someone who hurt me. The funny thing is that when I’ve hurt someone else, I have always determined that the evidence against me is inadmissible.

The scriptures which speak to my heart with resonance are:

• “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”²
• “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”³

This tells me that if I don’t forgive others who sin against me, or others I perceive to have sinned against me, I will not receive forgiveness from God; in essence, becoming a hostage to my own unwillingness to forgive. The thing about being a hostage is that the captors never allow the hostage to determine the terms of their release or time of being released.

Imagine being kidnapped and telling your abductor, “OK, I’ve had enough of this, I’m leaving!” Well, that’s exactly what Jesus is saying we get to do in the area of forgiveness; we have a choice! I can choose to hold on to unforgiveness, or I can choose to forgive.

The way of unforgiveness (Being a Hostage):

I was abandoned by my father, that why I am this way. It’s all his fault.

I lived a terrible childhood, growing up on the streets. It’s society’s fault I’m this way.

I can’t stand to look at you! Every time I see your face, I see your father.

You’re just like your mother!

People may justify the reasons why they won’t forgive, but how does one find forgiveness from God when they refuse to forgive? Sometimes a hostage has no idea where they’re being held. Hands and feet are bound. Eyes are covered so they can’t see, and their mouth is gagged so they can’t cry out for help. In instances like that, a hostage experiences fear, panic and hopelessness. But the spiritual hostage is simply ignorant of the spiritual power they have within to set themselves free. The spiritual hostage of unforgiveness binds their own hands and feet. They refuse to see the need for forgiveness by covering their eyes with the blindness of their own sins. They remain silent to the words of Jesus who said:

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”⁴

They don’t hear the words of true freedom that sets them free from the bondage of unforgiveness. The words remain imprisoned inside their own attitude unforgiveness; they remain a hostage.

Next week, I hope to continue this topic on forgiveness. In the mean time, try to speak the words of forgiveness and be a hostage no more.

MTJ

Father God,

I've been hurt by others but my words and behavior caused injury as well. I've sought out those I've injured and when possible, I've acknowledged my sin and asked for forgiveness. I may not have been forgiven by everyone I've hurt but I am truly sorry for the trouble, sadness and pain I've caused. I ask you to hear my prayer of forgiveness. I no longer want to bind the pain of unforgiveness in my life, I no longer want to be a hostage, I no longer want to prosecute and punish anyone, I forgive them Father. I don't need them to say anything to appease me; they may never feel the need. In my heart, mind and spirit, I acknowledge that they don't know what they did. I'm not just praying for myself Father God, I plead for the release of those who've been hurt by others, hurt in the church, hurt by churchgoers, and hurt by those who do not recognize you, hurt by racism, bigotry, and hatred. Those hurt by religious persecution, political affiliation, class or gender, I speak the word of freedom in their life that they may emerge from the spiritual bondage which has held them hostage. Thank you Father for the power to heal our lives, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Footnotes:

1. Matthew 18:18, NIV
2. Matthew 6:14-15, NIV
3. Mark 11:26, NIV
4. Luke 23:34, NIV

A Note of Thanks: I would just like to say Thank you, to each of you who visit My Thought-filled Journey. Taking time out of your busy schedule to read a post on this blog encourages me. Many of those who visit, will from time to time leave a comment, but it really doesn't matter whether a comment is left. What matters, is that you came here. I hope you find encouragement and inspiration in these words. Please know I will pray with you regarding any circumstance you may be facing. Feel free to write me to say "Hello", request prayer, or share what God is doing in your life. I have not said it enough, but thank you for the light of Christ in your life which illuminates the way for us all.

Note: This post is linked to Spiritual Sundays (hosted by Charlotte).

Finding Grace

Finding Grace (Image Courtesy of sharinggodsgrace.org)

I had a conversation with a friend about my post last week (Seeing Grace). [Friend] Where is the grace there? [Friend] Is God graceful to those (salmon) who succeed to jump upstream? [Me] When you fully understand grace, you realize that no matter what happens in life to me, God still loves me. [Friend] God loves you! How do you know that? [Me] The point I am trying to make is that if I look at God solely on the basis of how he blesses me with things or protects me from harm, I don't understand the necessity of having a meaningful relationship with God. How do I know God loves me? Because He says he loves me. That alone is enough for me to trust His word. Good doesn't happen to the most intelligent, or beautiful, or the better race, ethnicity or religious group. God is sovereign so there is nothing I can do to influence him to benefit me. If God chooses to bless my life, it is not because I am better; it is because he chooses to. The children who were shot today, who sinned; them or their parents? Could He have intervened? If that is what He wanted to do, but when things occur outside my level of expectation or understanding, I remind myself of that truth. I believe that "all things work together for good", so no matter what happens in my life, God is not shocked, surprised, or caught off guard. He will use circumstances in my life (whatever they may be) to bring about a greater purpose. I cannot see what He sees, so I may not understand why something happened. I may not have wanted it to happen. But I have a choice to trust that He will use it for my good. [Friend] Do you see Him as .....as somebody out there who protects you from any harm? [Me] Do you remember the biblical story of the 3 Hebrew boys thrown into the furnace? [Friend] Yes, a little. [Me] Do you remember what they said to the king who threatened them if they refused to worship his image? [Friend] No, I don't remember. [Me] Nebuchadnezzar was king of all Babylon. He commissioned a statue to be made in his image. And every day when the trumpets sounded, everyone in all Babylon was required to get on their knees and bow in the direction of his statue. Anyone who did not obey would suffer execution by being burned alive in a furnace. When he was informed about the 3 Hebrews, he ordered the furnace to be heated seven times hotter than normal. He then had them brought before him and he asked them: “When I throw you into that furnace do you think your God can save you then?” One of the Hebrews spoke up and said: “Our God is able to save us, but even if He doesn't, we will not exchange our trust in the Living God for an image of you!” So to answer your question, “Do you see Him as .....as somebody out there who protects you from any harm?” I would say, whether God protects me from harm or doesn't isn't relevant to whether I choose to trust Him with my life. Things happen in my life, both good and bad, but I will not waver in my belief that God loves me. The question I asked earlier about who sinned is how humans tend to look at tragedy. When a woman is raped, the rapist will be defended by the premise that the woman somehow was at fault. The men who killed those children today, maybe they have families, parents, a wife, possibly children. Each of them having a relationship with the murderers will be faced with the question of guilt. But they did nothing wrong. Only those who choose to do evil are wrong. In the mind of all evil doers, there are always valid reasons to do what they do, but reasons why do not matter, in the end, innocent lives were still stolen. But even in this tragedy, God can use it for the greater good, if we choose to learn from it. Knowing what it's like to see a life stolen by another human, my prayers are extended to those in Connecticut affected by last week's tragedy. It is a very difficult road to travel when a parent outlives their child. My mother has outlived two sons (one from childhood illness and the other murdered), but faith in God's love carries her on the road to heaven. For now, she remains alive with a purpose. She will go to them one day as I believe I too will see them again. But for now, in this moment of pain, sorrow, and sadness, I will look to the hills where my help comes; my help comes from the Lord! I pray that many of us in this country see that tragedy is the price we must pay, for the right to bear arms. To me, it is a silly notion that we hide behind a statement made hundreds of years ago when this nation fought for freedom from tyranny. Where is tyranny today? It is in the minds of those who manufacture weapons in this country. It is in the minds of those who sell weapons to individuals who are irresponsible citizens. It is in the minds of those who do not comprehend the meaning of love, grace, and peace. It is in the minds of those who will come out and say, “Guns don't kill, people kill”. What will it take for us to see the need to demonstrate Christ in our lives? If any man comes after me, he must first deny himself. Why would Christ say, I must first deny myself? Deny myself of what? It is not a question of “what” but “whom”. I must deny myself of “me”. I want to please “me” above pleasing God. This is what grace reveals, my utter selfishness. But the bible wants each of us to learn of a more excellent way, the way of grace. My life needs to be encompassed with the grace given me by God. Finding grace is not so difficult. Otherwise Christ would not have said, “Ask and it shall be given, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened.” Finding grace (even in the midst of tragedy) is not difficult. All I need to do is open my eyes. A Note of Thanks: I would just like to say that I appreciate each of you who visit My Thought-filled Journey. Taking time out of your schedule to read a post on this blog is encouraging to me. Many of those who visit, will from time to time leave a comment. Whether a comment is left is not important. What is important, is that you came. I do hope you find encouragement and inspiration in these words. Please know I will pray with you regarding any circumstance you may be facing. Feel free to write me to say "Hello", request prayer, or share what God is doing in your life. I have not said it enough, but thank you for the light of Chist in your life which illuminates the way for us all. by MTJ

Note: This post is linked to Spiritual Sundays (hosted by Charlotte).

Seeing Grace

Image courtesy of optimisticjourney.com

Song writer John Newton (1725-1807) wrote these words in the song Amazing Grace:

Through many dangers, toils and snares I have already come; 'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far and Grace will lead me home.

Anyone who has experienced the power of God’s grace in their life will easily identify with these words. For many, the challenges of life can be like the obstacles salmon face swimming upstream. I once watched a documentary on salmon and the Black Bear. The Black Bear will wait upstream for the migration of salmon. As the fish hurl their bodies through the air in an attempt to navigate their way home, the Black Bear with a swipe of its huge paw smacks salmon after salmon onto the shore. There on the shore as the salmon flop helplessly out of water, the bear will gorge itself on the omega rich eyes of the salmon; that’s all the bear craves! No matter where I’m going in my life, the direction for me is upstream. Like the salmon, I’m on a path that leads me home. Along the way, there may be dangers, toils and snares, but like the song says, “I’ve already come…” That’s the magnificent quality of God’s grace, no matter the circumstances we face in life, grace leads us home. Some lack confidence in redemption because they don’t understand or know the scriptures, but even a blind man can see that “Jesus saves”. I can say, “I once was blind, but now I see” because I know I lacked vision to see the truth illuminated by the light of Christ. I lacked the ability to recognize the goodness of the Lord. When I hear someone say, “God is good”. It isn’t some catchy cliché; it’s the revelation that acknowledges how God works all things together for good… We’ve all been shocked and surprised at various times in our lives. I read some of the blogs written by Christians after the national election that indicated shock, dismay, and discouragement. But the truth is that God is never shocked, dismayed or discouraged; God is never caught unaware of events that occur in life. To every man is given a measure of grace. That’s what I need to know. That God has extended Himself in such a way that He is easily capable of reaching me and measuring the exact amount of grace my life so desperately needs. My grace is sufficient for you. It’s more than you’ll ever require! That’s what those words say to me. Should I pray for more grace? Why? I've already been given enough grace by Almighty God to get me through anything I face in life! I should utilize the grace God has given me and rejoice that I have more than enough to conquer the Black Bears in my life. I’ve seen enough hatred, bigotry and racism in a lifetime of living. I could easily say, “I’ve had it up to here with that stuff”, but I realize that just as Jesus said we would always have the poor, there will always be sin in this world until He returns. Like those who condemned the woman caught in adultery, we can just as easily be ready to stone someone because of our own self-righteous attitudes. But the truth is there is a very thin line between salvation in Christ and self-confidence. I pray that in this season of Christmas we Christians actually turn a corner and walk in a manner that befits being called the sons of God. I pray that we give grace as easily as we have received it. That we actually demonstrate to the world our capacity to love and forgive; that we remember that Jesus said, “You are the light of the world”. If I see grace as it really is, I will see that it will lead me home. A Note of Thanks: I would just like to say that I appreciate each of you who visit My Thought-filled Journey. Taking time out of your schedule to read a post on this blog is encouraging to me. Many of those who visit, will from time to time leave a comment. Whether a comment is left is not important. What is important, is that you came. I do hope you find encouragement and inspiration in these words. Please know I will pray with you regarding any circumstance you may be facing. Feel free to write me to say "Hello", request prayer, or share what God is doing in your life. I have not said it enough, but thank you for the light of Chist in your life which illuminates the way for us all. by MTJ

Note: This post is linked to Spiritual Sundays (hosted by Charlotte).

December Grace

Aurora Over Iowa, Copyright Stan Richards (NightSkyEvents.com)

December is the last month in the year. In many ways it symbolizes finality, and yet for the Christian, it is the beginning. In December, we honor the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. For unto us a child is born is one of the most memorable statements in this life. Many see December as the month which ushers in winter. In northern climates, winters mean snow, ice, less sunlight and cold, cold days. For some, December is their birth month; a day of celebration. For others, it can mean a time of great loneliness, depression and futility. While many celebrate December, others will mourn the loss of someone close. Some will choose to end life rather than celebrate it. For me, December is always special. It is special because I was born in this month, so I have always welcomed it. As a child, it was special not just because of my birthday, but because of Christmas, snowy days in Chicago, playing with my brothers, and huge meals prepared by my grandmother. My grandmother loved to cook. Cooking for her was an honorable endeavor; she relished in the traditions of cooking for our family. I can look back now and see that she did this by grace. For me, cooking was and still is an effort. I am (as Paul would say), “Under the law” when it comes to cooking. My grandmother cooked under grace. It was a grace that gave her the freedom to cook with her whole heart. I realize that it is far better to live by grace than the law. The law does not impute life. It is tedious, and exhausting. At some point, we become tired of the law, but grace never tires us. Paul writes, “Whatever you do, do as unto the Lord.” I realize that what Paul is saying to me is that my attitude in whatever I do should be to please God with my life. This has often come into conflict with my need to please and gratify myself. Yet God still calls to me to walk in the grace given to me. Grace is such a marvelous gift that we often overlook its significance. I was talking with someone recently about forgiveness. In my feeble attempt to explain it, I asked, “When is a person forgiven by God? Is it when I ask for forgiveness? Is it when Christ died on the cross? Is it when God sacrificed animals in the garden to cover the nakedness of Adam and Eve? Or was it before creation itself when in the infinite knowledge of God He knew we needed redemption?” For me, all these are true. But I realize that God is not a sequential being like me; He is infinite! I need to follow a set of protocols, but God has no protocols that direct Him. So, I am left with grace as my answer. To bask in God’s grace is beyond words. I cannot describe or explain it in a way that makes sense to someone who has never experienced the grace of God. To that person, grace is simply a word we banter about. To me, it is what holds me firm in my belief of redemption, salvation and eternity. Grace is what leads me into prayer. Grace confirms for me that the Invisible God lives! Grace reveals to me that Christ rose from the dead and paid the penalty for sin in this world. Grace leads me to embrace the gift of life and inspires me to be better than I was; I want to please God because I want to hear the words, “Well done.” Each day as we draw nearer to the celebration of the birth of Christ, it is my hope that we recognize and appreciate the grace which has been given to us. Special Note: I would just like to say that I appreciate each of you who visit My Thought-filled Journey. The individual comments have been both insightful and encouraging. I had no idea when I began this journey where it would take me or when it will end, but I find myself inspired by the many thoughts others express here and on their personal blogs. Please know you are in my prayers. I have not said it enough, but thank you for the light of Chist in your life which illuminates the way for us all. by MTJ

Note: This post is linked to Spiritual Sundays (hosted by Charlotte).

Lost and Found

The Prodigal Son's Turning Point, Luke 15:11-32, NIV

It’s quiet now, at the break of day,     not a sound, except my thoughts. As I drift back and think of all,     the evil works I wrought. I want what’s mine, I’ll have it now!     Give me what I’m due! My father stood there, listening to,     the vile things I would spew. So he gave it all to me,     my inheritance. I then went off, so far away,     til every coin was spent. Women, parties, drunken nights,     I was a Jew gone wild. I was that fool who didn’t know,     he was a prodigal child. Soon my belly craved to have,     food I could not buy. I went to those, I thought were friends,     their words just made me cry. I took a job, far out from town,     feeding the farmers swine. The slop they ate, it looked so good,     I’ll eat it just this time. As I prepared, to eat that food,     a thought came suddenly. How better off the hired were,     they lived far better than me. And so I left, and headed back,     to my father’s home. I’ll seek forgiveness from the one,     that I had never known. While I was, still far away,     my father spotted me. He ran up close to where I was,     to finally set me free. A robe, a ring, and sandals too,     forgave me for my wrongs. The fatted calf was also killed,     a feast was held with songs. My son was lost, but now he's found,     he’s now come home at last. He’s learned the lessons of right and wrong,     I forgive him of his past. Poem by MTJ

Father God,

The song writer said, "Amazing grace how sweet the sound... that saved a retch like me...I once was lost, but now I'm found... was blind but now I see."

How lost I am without Your Spirit to guide me! What can I do? Where can I go? What can I say, that exceeds Your lovingkindness extended to me? Do I need thee? Yes, Father God, I need thee! Every hour, I need You. You are the Great and Mighty I Am. The Sovereign God who chose to give His Son, to redeem us from sin and death. I rejoice in Your goodness. I'm thankful that I have salvation in Jesus Christ. Guide me with Your Holy Spirit, that my life will testify to the power of Jesus Christ, my Redeemer who lives and reigns as King of kings, and Lord of lords. In the depth of my despair, You found and rescued me. May the life I live, be pleasing in Your sight, Dear Lord. Amen.

Note: This post is linked to Spiritual Sundays (hosted by Charlotte).

Follow Me, Following Christ

“PATTERN YOURSELVES after me [follow my example], as I imitate and follow Christ (the Messiah).”¹

“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.”²

I’ve been meditating on this verse throughout the week and as I thought on it, I began to realize how confident a statement it was to proclaim the words, Follow me. I began 2010 with a sincere desire to re-dedicate my life to Christ after years of living only for myself. It was my hope that I could fit nicely into the muted background and quietly go about my life as if nothing had ever happened.

The words, My thoughts are not your thoughts, still echo in my mind.

God knows I don’t want attention. It’s funny when I think about it, but all my life that’s exactly what I’ve wanted. I pleaded with God, offering reasons why I wasn’t adequate to write about faith in Christ, but He ignored my every protest.

Did you ask Me to forgive you?

Yes Lord.

Did you say, “My life is in Your hands”

Yes Lord…but…I can’t do this

Why?

I’m ashamed of the life I’ve lived.

Do you believe in the covenant of Christ?

Yes Lord.

Do you believe in the forgiveness of your sins?

Yes Lord.

Do you appreciate the grace I’ve extended to you?

Yes Lord.

Will you obey me?

I want to both answer and remain silent. If I say, “Yes”, I commit myself to do what He says. If I say, “No”, then, why have I asked for His forgiveness? I cannot turn back, but I’m afraid to step forward.

He waits for my answer.

Yes Lord, I will obey You.

This is how I began My Thought-filled Journey a year ago. I hoped he wouldn’t require much, but He’s only asked for my obedience. Still, there are moments in each day when I find myself overwhelmed that He forgave me, that He loves me, and that He gives me grace; when it is so undeserved.

In the past year, when I read or hear what He has imparted to other believers in Christ, I tell myself that I’ve learned so little about the measure of His love, and forgiveness.

Of the little I have learned, I’ve come to understand that He commands me to love and forgive others. While the phrase "He commands me", sounds so oppressive to the natural mind, it is a joy to those who choose to obey God.

I find it difficult to think that I would ever have the courage to say, “Follow me as I follow Christ.” Taking ownership of that kind of responsibility and saying to someone else, “Trust me, I know where I’m going.”

It’s easy to follow, it far more difficult to lead.

As a follower:

1. I can always complain about the direction I’m headed in
2. I can question whether the leader knows where he or she is going
3. When things aren’t going the way I planned, I can always just quit

I’m not a fisherman, but I’ve cut bait in my life enough times to know that I was never bothered by doing it (quitting). I never liked following anyone, never wanted instruction, and I never accepted correction.

I’m learning that humility goes hand-in-hand with following Christ, taking instruction, and accepting correction. I may not feel confident in telling someone to, “Follow me”, but I realize that every moment of my life is a demonstration of my willingness to follow Christ; whether I say follow me with confidence or not, my life is speaking for me. Others will see whom I follow.

The scriptures say,
“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.”³

And yet, I know there were times, I wished He didn’t. The Lord weighs my motives against the depth of my words.

What does it take to say the words, Follow me?

It takes a heart that seeks to please Him with my life. It takes a mind that has learned the importance of running to Him, rather than running away. It takes a realization that in this life, I walk by faith rather than sight. It takes believing that The Lord, He is God. It takes appreciating that His grace really is sufficient for me, even when my mind says that I need something more tangible. It takes me knowing that although I cannot undo my history, Christ empowers me to change my today, which will help shape my tomorrow.

Whether I say follow me with confidence or not, my life reveals whom I follow.

To be called a follower of Christ, or a Christian means I’m demonstrating the love, forgiveness, compassion, humility, and obedience of Christ in every aspect of my life. I haven't reached the end of my journey, nor have I reached the apex of my spiritual ascent...but I press on to grab hold of He who has taken hold of me.

Father God,

I praise You for Your goodness, mercy and grace. I cannot truly understand the depth of You love, but how I appreciate Your love for me! Who is like You? What is there to span the height, depth, length and breath of You? There is none like You Lord. You are teaching me to cast aside every weight and sin that brings me down to the depths of despair, replacing it with by focusing my eyes on Jesus Christ; the author of faith, even my faith. Order my steps Lord that I may come to know You better. Teach me the lessons of humility. I pray that I not forget Your deeds concerning my life. How You delivered me from sin and blessed me beyond measure. My life is revealed to You as an open book. I pray that my life help others discover You; that others learn of Your mercy, love and grace. When I fall Lord, and I will fall, not because I want to, but because I am weak, help me to stand up again and declare Your goodness.

Look on those seeking healing for their body, or the life of a loved one. Open the door of opportunity for that one who seeks employment. Touch the life of a child who needs love and encouragement. Pour out Your grace on that mother and father concerned about their child. You are The God of Possibility!. We know with You are things are possible, and we believe this. We trust You with our life. May You be please by the life we've chosen to live in honor of Your Son, Jesus Christ. Bless us today in Jesus name. Amen.

Note: This post is linked to Spiritual Sundays (hosted by Charlotte and Ginger).

Footnotes:

1. 1 Corinthians 11:1, Amplified Bible
2. 1 Corinthians 11:1, NIV
3. Psalm 139:23, NIV

References:

1. The Ryrie Study Bible (New American Standard Version), Edited by Charles C. Ryrie, Moody Publishers, Chicago, Illinois, ISBN 0-8024-8920-6
2. The Amplified Bible, by The Lockman Foundation, Zondervan Bible Publishers, Grand Rapids, Michigan, ISBN-13: 978-0310951414
3. King James Version, The Crusade Analytical Study Edition, Crusade Bible Publishers, Inc., PO Box 90011, Nashville, Tennessee 37209
4. The Message Bible, by Eugene H. Peterson, NavPress Publishing Group, Colorado Springs, CO, ISBN-13: 978-1600060250
5. The NIV Study Bible, Edited by Kenneth Barker, Donald Burdick, John Stek, Walter Wessel and Ronald Youngblood, Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530, USA
6. The New Living Translation Bible, by Tyndale Charitable Trust, Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois, ISBN-13: 978-0842384896

Letting Go and Moving On

I was reading a post on forgiveness (by Peculiar Person called Finding Forgiveness¹) and one of the comments raised a point which I believe every one of us faces:

“Not sure why it hurts more and so much harder to move on when you have been hurt by someone of the body of Christ. For me it has been so many years and yet I still find that the situation I have encountered continues to hold me back. Not sure if I have fully forgiven but my question is how do you completely let go and move on?”

As I looked at the question, How do you completely let go and move on? I realized that many in the body of Christ may be in the same place over and over again in their life because of an inability to let go and move on.

I remember watching a movie called What Dreams May Come² in which a couple tragically lose their two children and try to move on through the grief and pain. When the husband dies, the wife reaches a point where she can’t go on living without the three most important people in her life and she commits suicide. Although the movie is more about the character of the husband, I learned something of value in the character of the wife; she wasn’t able to let go and move on because she was in a place of sorrow, pain and sadness. And in the end, she felt compelled to end her life but even in death there was no escape, she went to a place of sorrow, pain and sadness.

I believe this is true for those of us who struggle with forgiveness; we are stuck in a place of sorrow, pain and sadness.

I believe that we assign a value to the offense when we experience hurt, we give value to the pain we feel. In doing this, we devalue the life of anyone who offends us. Earlier this week, I read a post that the author asks the question, “How do I forgive when there's no apology?”³ From the responses I read, many still carry around the hurts they experienced years ago.

Letting go is difficult but it’s not impossible.

There is a passage in scripture which I believe liberated me. Jesus says:
“If you forgive the sins of any, their sins have been forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they have been retained.”⁴

Jesus also said,
“I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; and whatever you shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”⁵

I believe letting go is difficult because I bind the sins committed against me to my life.

We’ve all seen caterpillars and we’ve seen that they are transformed into a butterfly but before that can happen; the caterpillar wraps itself into a cocoon. The cocoon forms a protective barrier allowing the caterpillar to survive and eventually transform itself into a butterfly.

Although I didn’t physically encase myself in a cocoon, I often created an emotional cocoon-like barrier around myself which I subconsciously believed would serve as a protective barrier from further pain. In doing so, I bound myself to that sin, chaining my life to that hurt and pain and throwing away the key.

Could it be that I’m taking on the nature of the thing which has caused me hurt and pain?

When I am hurt, I experience many emotions in response, but one emotion I experience is anger; I want to retaliate. This is my initial defense against emotional and physical attack. The anger may subside but eventually, as I replay the event over in my mind, those emotions begin to resurface. This is my process of encasing myself in a cocoon; I wrap myself again and again in this protective barrier.

But it isn’t just a protective barrier, it’s an emotional prison.

To become a butterfly, the caterpillar must develop and emerge from the cocoon.

To let go and move on, I must free myself from the sin which I’ve bound myself to because it will terrorize me much like the eight hundred pound gorilla. I must emerge from the room or remain there paralyzed by the recurring memory of my pain.

But how do I let go and move on?

As I’ve said before (in the three-part post called Forgive Them⁶), we are commanded to forgive which is no different than our command to love. We don’t love others based on their merit; we cannot forgive others based on merit. What I mean by this is that I approached forgiveness in much the same way the judicial process operates:

1. I charged someone with an offense
2. I prosecuted the offender
3. I sentenced the offender
4. I punished the offender

As each phase played out subconsciously in my mind, I can now see that my objective was to complete the punishment phase; because there was no leniency given for any offense. This took the form of anything from retaliation to disassociation; but no matter what punishment I executed, I was always devaluing the life of that person. In some cases they no longer existed to me, my own form of emotional execution.

So God commands me to forgive. Why?

Believe it or not, we are quite ignorant when it comes to doing what’s right. This is why Jesus said as He hung on the cross:

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”⁷

People have different motivations for saying and doing things that offend and hurt others, but the truth is they don’t have a clue about what they’re doing. I don’t mean to say that people aren’t aware of the things they do, but they are unaware of how to please God with they’re life. If they truly understood how to please God, they would be saddened by those hurtful words and actions they commit.

When Jesus asked the Father to forgive those who crucified Him, He was including me as well. Although I wasn’t physically there, I was a part of the cabal of sinners. There was a time when I really didn't know what I was doing. I didn't have a clue, although I thought I did because in my mind, I was soooo cool. In reality, I was screwing up my life big time. That lifestyle and belief has changed now. I believe because the Holy Spirit lives within me, to deny knowledge of my sin now would be lying.

In discussing forgiveness, Jesus gave clarity so that we would have no confusion on the question of Why does God commands me to forgive?

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”⁸

This helped me recognize the need to maintain a spiritual balance in my life. By not forgiving others, I become unbalanced in my life. I find myself increasingly encasing myself in the emotional cocoon of sorrow, pain and sadness.

The Hebrew word for forget is shakach (shaw-kakh’ or shaw-kay’-akh), which means, to mislay. In other words, to forget is to become so mentally oblivious of something due to the absence its memory or attention. Forgetting is putting something down and having a mindset that says, “I no longer assign a value to this memory”, so that I’m not aware of it as I emerge from my emotional cocoon. I do this by recognizing that I’ve been forgiven by God along with all the other folks in the cabal of sinners; including the person who offended me.

God then, doesn’t ask me to forgive them, He commands me to forgive them. I am compelled to obey God if my desire is to please Him in my life because:
"...to obey is better than sacrifice..."⁹

One of my blogger friends (Sarah) discussed giving herself permission to be free:

"At first my words were just that....words. But then I noticed a change inside....a shift....a different feel that hadn't been there before. I started believing in the power of those words...accepting their truth....and soon coming to realize that just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz - I had always had the power to get what I wanted....a power I had never realized before - the power to give myself what no one else could - the permission....the sanction.....to walk free."10

I believe in order to let go and move on, I must begin to say the words; I forgive you, when someone offends me. I may not believe this at first, I may even want to repeat the judicial process I’ve gone through before and get back into my emotional cocoon but as I continue along this path, I discover that I begin to accept the truth. I eventually realize that I no longer value that offense because I’ve forgiven them and I’ve mislaid the memory of the offense; I can no longer recall it.

How do I let go and move on?

Speak the words of forgiveness and emerge from your cocoon.

Father God,

I've been hurt by others and I've also injured others. I've sought out those I've injured and when possible, I've acknowledged my sin and asked for forgiveness. I've not been forgiven by everyone I've injured but I am truly sorry for the pain, sadness and hurt I've caused. I ask you to hear my confession of forgiveness. I no longer want to bind the pain in my life, I no longer want to wrap myself in an emotional cocoon, I no longer want to prosecute and punish others, I forgive them. I don't need them to say anything to appease me; they may never feel the need. In my heart, mind and spirit, I acknowledge that they don't know what they did. I'm not just praying for myself Father God, I plead for the release of those who've been hurt by others, hurt in the church, hurt by churchgoers, and hurt by those who do not recognize you. I speak the word of freedom in their life that they may emerge from the emotional cocoon which has held them prisoner. Thank you Father for the power to heal our lives. Amen.

Footnotes:

1. Finding Forgiveness, by Peculiar Person, August 6, 2010
2. What Dreams May Come, written by Richard Matheson (novel) and Ronald Bass (screenplay), October 2, 1998, for Polygram Filmed Entertainment
3. How do I forgive when there's no apology?, by Elizabeth Esther, August 2, 2010
4. John 20:23, NASB
5. Matthew 16:19, NASB
6. Forgive Them, by MTJ, April 12-14, 2010
7. Luke 23:34, NIV
8. Matthew 6:14, NIV
9. 1 Samuel 15:22, NASB
10. Giving Permission, by Sarah, August 6, 2010

References:

1. Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, By James B. Strong, S.T.D, LL.D., Riverside Book and Bible House, Iowa Falls, Iowa 50126
2. The Ryrie Study Bible (New American Standard Version), Edited by Charles C. Ryrie, Moody Publishers, Chicago, Illinois, ISBN 0-8024-8920-6
3. The NIV Study Bible, Edited by Kenneth Barker, Donald Burdick, John Stek, Walter Wessel and Ronald Youngblood, Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530, USA
4. Finding Forgiveness, by Peculiar Person, written for the blog, Along A Narrow Way, August 6, 2010
5. What Dreams May Come, Information source Internet Movie Database (imdb.com)
6. How do I forgive when there's no apology?, by Elizabeth Esther, written for the blog, Elizabeth Esther, August 2, 2010
7. Forgive Them, by MTJ, written for the blog, My Thought-filled Journey, April 12-14, 2010
8. Giving Permission, by Sarah, written for the blog, Writing, August 6, 2010

Show me what you got

I was watching this movie once and towards the end there was a scene between a man and a woman that went something like this:

Raquel: I have character.

Winston 'The Wolf' Wolfe: There’s a difference between having character and being a character.

For me, it was one of those lines you never forget from a movie. For the Christian, it is never a good thing to be viewed as a character. Elmer Fudd, Porky Pig and Mickey Mouse are characters but who among us wants to be labeled a “Mickey Mouse”?

What does it take to be a person of character? This question for me was enlightening because I initially thought about the positive qualities which one can demonstrate such as honesty, integrity and honor. But as I pondered the question I began to see that a person of character is one who doesn’t fear the light of truth. A politician mimics honesty, integrity and honor in an attempt to gain votes during an election campaign; but a scandal reveals who they really are and hopes for victory fall in embarrassment, shame and defeat.

A person of character doesn’t try to live shamefully, they will acknowledge falling short of their commitment. A person of character doesn’t talk the talk. They recognize that talk is empty, shallow and vain. A person of character realizes the importance of upholding what they say by the life they live. A person of character knows they are not perfect and will never convey to others that they are. For some Christians, getting snared in the Sprite Syndrome is a trap that becomes almost inescapable. We all know that the Sprite Syndrome declares that “Image is everything!” But is that true? Is image everything? I look in the mirror and see an image of myself but that image isn’t me. It looks like me, it mimics me but when I turn and walk away from the mirror, the image of me is gone.

An image is an imitation of someone or something. People impersonate famous people because they look like them but the truth is they aren’t that person. A person can dress up and imitate Elvis Presley but we all know Elvis has left the building. As a child, I never knew the difference between butter and margarine because we never bought butter in our home. I don’t know why other than to say it costs more. But today, I know the difference between butter and margarine because my wife never buys margarine and she schooled me on the difference. Butter tastes different. It has a substance to it which margarine doesn’t.

That’s true with people too. People who imitate character lack substance and depth; they are superficial. It’s important for the Christian to understand that what people think about me is not the same as what people know about me. Jesus said,

“...and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”¹

Certainly Jesus was referring to the revelation of truth regarding who He is and His purpose for coming into the world but I believe that knowing the truth about myself, helps to liberate me from my fears. I say this because I believe that fear is what causes us to erect images of who we are to others. We become enslaved to an image instead of being a real person. Why must I hide that I struggle with alcohol? What would my family say if they found out my marriage is failing? What would happen if my husband found out that I was unfaithful? What would my church friends think if they discovered I gossip about them?

Does the truth really make you free? The answer is yes it does! There are three things that distinguish a person of character from a character: fear, shame and guilt.

Fear imprisons me. It forces me to believe that I will be rejected if others saw me as a flawed person. But the truth is that we only need to look at Jesus Christ to see that He was both despised and rejected for representing real truth. It’s not what others think of you that determines who you are, it’s what God says about you that gives your identity substance. Jesus calls His followers friend. God adopts the believer as His child; we are privileged to call Him Father (Abba). It’s when we face the fears about our failures and weaknesses, honestly confessing to God our need for help and deliverance that we begin to experience real freedom. I can dispel my fears by being honest with God, myself and others. A person of character does not live in fear.

Shame holds me in my prison of fear because I’m embarrassed by what I do. For some, it becomes a patterned cycle of behavior, do the deed and then feel the shame. I’ve fallen off the wagon but instead of seeking help, I pretend that all is well. Could it be that at the end of church service, there are people in genuine pain or trouble but shame keeps them from sharing the problem and seeking help? The notion of living up to the image that my life as a Christian is perfect is a false one. Christians have problems too. Christians face a crisis in faith, marital problems, unemployment, debt, homelessness, academic failure and many other problems. Certainly one does not speak of these things with a sense of pride but one should not shun the truth about having problems. A person of character is not stuck in shame.

Guilt sentences me to perpetual punishment for my failures. I will always suffer guilt when I cling to the accusation of what I did. Guilt is the ghost that haunts my life. Guilt is my very own personal boogeyman. Accepting real forgiveness and moving beyond guilt can be a most difficult journey for many. It takes belief that God has forgiven me and it takes commitment and determination to say no to repeat the sins that enslave me to guilt. Many think they deserve punishment but what they need is to experience forgiveness. The criminal who hung on the cross next to Jesus asked Him to remember him. Jesus said,

“…Truly I say to you, today you shall be with Me in Paradise.”²

That man obtained forgiveness and yet we still refer to him as a thief. No matter what others think of him, he died guiltless because of the forgiveness of Christ. That’s what forgiveness gives you; freedom from the condemnation and penalty of sin. When you experience freedom from sin, you begin living a life of substance. No longer imitating but actually being real; honest and open about who you are in Christ. A person of character is not haunted by guilt.

People want to be around a person of character. A character can be the life of the party but they get exhausted and tired being a character all the time. What a character really wants is to be able to say, "This isn't who I really am."

They want to take the mask off because they understand that people want to be around someone with substance; someone who is real. When someone says (literally), “Show me what you got”, allow them to get to know the real you.

Footnotes:

1. John 8:32, NASB
2. Luke 23:39-43, NASB

References:

1. The Ryrie Study Bible (New American Standard Version), Edited by Charles C. Ryrie, Moody Publishers, Chicago, Illinois, ISBN 0-8024-8920-6
2. Pulp Fiction, Movie directed by Quentin Tarantino, Written by Quentin Tarantino and Roger Avary

Quanto Costa? (What is too high a price?)

Recently two people that I love suffered a breech in their relationship. Emotional pain, disappointment, frustration and anger were subsequently followed by harsh words. I found myself in the middle of this strife and I was at a loss as to what I should do; I began to pray. I continued praying only to see the tension escalate. I cried out to the Lord asking for help. I read Psalms but still the tension grew even higher.

I read 2 Samuel about the fractured relationship between King David and his son Absalom. I read how his own son plotted to overthrow David. Recognizing what was taking place, David fled in shame, his head covered, barefoot and weeping bitter tears.

“And David went up the ascent of the Mount of Olives, and wept as he went, and his head was covered and he walked barefoot.”¹

As I read this, I asked myself, Why did the king of all Israel cry? Was it because he felt the pain of betrayal? Was it because he saw the damaged relationship between him and Absalom? Whatever the reason, I believe David experienced loss; a loss more costly than the crown of a kingdom, David felt relationship loss.

There is a cost to keeping a relationship alive and valued, often many will say, “It’s too high a price!” There in 2 Samuel, I read something which caught my eye. It seemed to be an almost nondescript entry which by itself has no importance but there it was.

Then the king said to Ittai the Gittite, "Why will you also go with us? Return and remain with the king, for you are a foreigner and also an exile; return to your own place…Return and take back your brothers; mercy and truth be with you."

But Ittai answered the king and said, "As the LORD lives, and as my lord the king lives, surely wherever my lord the king may be, whether for death or for life, there also your servant will be.”²

As I read this, I realized the cost of a relationship is one’s life. Ittai said he was willing to either live or die with David; that was the price he would invest in their relationship. I thought about how cheaply I had valued relationships. I had never contemplated giving my life for someone. In certain situations, I would certainly fight to the death to save those I love but I do not believe I've ever truely invested myself in another person; I held part of me back, reserved what I valued. It saddens me to say that (in the past) I would never sacrifice my life; particularly when my relationship to someone was threatened.

These few verses aren’t as voluminous as the book of Ruth, who says to Naomi,

But Ruth said, "Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.”³

I then read the book of Philemon, where Paul writes a letter about a slave who had stolen from his master (Philemon) and then run away. Somehow, the lives of Paul and Onesimus (the slave) meet and a slave discovers the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Paul sees value in a person once considered valueless. He writes that the slave is more valuable now because he is a slave no more; he is a valued brother. Not satisfied with recognizing the value of Onesimus, Paul continues:

“But if he has wronged you in any way, or owes you anything, charge that to my account…”⁴

Offenses carry a cost associated with them. Too often, we value the offense more than the relationship. When the question, Quanto Costa? (Or how much) is raised, some will say, It’s too high a price!

A relationship costs the investment of one’s life. It is not something you can half step your way through; it's the price you must willingly give.

Jesus paid that price so that we could have a relationship with the Father. When He looked at the cost for you and me, He hung on a cross and died. That’s the price of relationship.

May each of us understand that relationships have real value and that nothing is greater than the life of someone; no offense can amount to the value of a life or a relationship.

Footnotes:

1. 2 Samuel 15:30, NASB
2. 2 Samuel 15:19-21, NASB
3. Ruth 1:16, NASB
4. Philemon 1:18, NASB

References:

1. Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, By James B. Strong, S.T.D, LL.D., Riverside Book and Bible House, Iowa Falls, Iowa 50126
2. The Ryrie Study Bible (New American Standard Bible), Edited by Charles C. Ryrie, Moody Publishers, Chicago, Illinois, ISBN 0-8024-8920-6

Forgive Them (Part 3)

The bible gives several examples of how God responds to our unforgiveness of others:

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”⁶

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?'

Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me he begged, and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, cancelled the debt and let him go. But when the servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’ But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I cancelled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”⁷

What this is saying is that we who have been forgiven much by God must forgive the little things from others. Should I expect God to forgive me for every sin I’ve committed while I won’t forgive someone for a slight? I need to remember this when I pray because I want God to hear me, I want God to forgive me and I want God to bless me. To forgive means that I accept the atonement of Jesus Christ, not only for myself but for everyone else as well; His blood covers us all. This enables me to forgive.

The final step to forgive is restoration. This means to give back that which was lost. When someone offends me, they lose value in my eyes because what they did becomes more important to me. This is contrary to what God did for us.

“…it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ…”⁸

The Hebrew word for restore is shuwb (shoob) which means to turn back. My thinking of biblical restoration is to return to the starting point. It’s like taking a sheet of paper and folding it in half; the beginning edge of the sheet and the ending edge are both at the same point. Anything written on that sheet of paper becomes irrelevant because the folding has covered up all the writing.

The blood which was shed by Jesus Christ serves as an eternal atonement for our sins. This does not give me a license to go on sinning. On the contrary, it means that I should live my life in the best possible way to please God. It does not mean if I sin I am lost again, because I have an advocate with God the Father. That advocate is Jesus Christ who is seated at the right hand of the Father, interceding for me (always).

“…I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense---Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.”⁹

As a result, we are restored to our status as sinless before the eyes of God. Restoration is critical to forgiving. When I no longer place value on the offense (through substitution), I am acknowledging that Jesus Christ atoned not only for me but for everyone else as well, I see others as God sees me; forgiven.

Restoration is not the same as reconciliation or repentance. A person may never acknowledge they hurt me but I will not put any obstacle in their way hindering them. What I'm learning is that the responsibility to forgive is with me.

If you are harboring hurts, memories and pain from others, you need to free yourself and those who hurt you. Don’t be like the Three Stooges, following a Niagara Falls scenario through life, turning back, time and time again. That would be like a DVD that won’t track because of a smear or scratch on the disk. It’s time to let it go and give value to one truly deserving, Jesus Christ. Won’t you forgive? I often find that it helps when I answer the question, What is of greater value to me?

1. Jesus Christ, or
2. the offense

Let us forgive one another and be an example of Christ to others.

Footnotes:

1. Matthew 6:14-15, NIV
2. Matthew 18:21-35, NIV
3. Ephesians 2:5-6, NIV
4. 1 John 2:1, NIV

References:

1. Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, By James B. Strong, S.T.D, LL.D., Riverside Book and Bible House, Iowa Falls, Iowa 50126
2. Unger's Bible Dictionary, By Merrill F. Unger, Moody Press, Chicago
3. The NIV Study Bible, Edited by Kenneth Barker, Donald Burdick, John Stek, Walter Wessel and Ronald Youngblood, Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530, USA

Forgive Them (Part 2)

Biblical forgiveness is the work of God to make us right with Him; without this action by God we would all be condemned for eternity. I believe the bible reveals three steps that enable us to forgive:

1. substitution
2. atonement and
3. restoration

To forgive us, God provides a substitution for all. Through substitution, God places greater value on the sacrifice of Jesus Christ than on my sins.

“…He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but have everyone to come to repentance.”²

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”³

There is no Hebrew word for substitution but the biblical concept is documented.

“Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son.”⁴

“But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed.”⁵

Any one of us can pay the cost of sin in our life by accepting the punishment of death but what’s the benefit in that? None of us wants to be condemned, punished and die for the sins of our life. I suppose for some, choosing salvation may seem a coward’s way of facing the consequences of sin but the truth is that each of us looks for a way of escape. When you’re stopped by a policeman for speeding, you don’t say, “I broke the law, give me a ticket officer”. No, you offer a substitute (an alibi) in an effort to excuse your actions. When the officer says, “I’m not going to give you a ticket this time. Please drive the posted speed limit.” You don’t get angry and demand a speeding ticket. No, you say, “Thank you officer” and go on your merry way. Yes, the world's answer to consequences is escape. People take their life (e.g., suicide), sabotage (e.g., addiction) their life and frustrate their life (e.g., greed) in an effort to escape.

The same is true for salvation. You and I know we deserve the just punishment of God but none of us would argue with God when He freely accepts the substitutionary life of Jesus Christ for the sins of the world (you, me and everyone else). When we accept Christ as savior, God sees His life poured out as a sin offering for all. As a result, no further substitution is necessary. God forgives because of the substitutionary act of Jesus Christ. God values Jesus Christ more than sin. When someone offends me, I need to substitute Jesus Christ for that offense; giving greater value to who Christ is than what someone has done to me. To do otherwise would mean that the offense is more important to me than Jesus Christ. Recognizing Christ is greater than the offense towards me enables me to forget.

The second step towards forgiving is atonement. The Hebrew word for atonement is kaphar (kaw-far’) which means to cover. In God’s eyes, atonement can only be achieved through death; blood must be shed, someone must die. When I look at the biblical form of forgiving, I recognize that God requires atonement (or covering) for sin. Each of us is guilty of sin and the verdict of death has been given. Either I must die or someone must atone for my sins. That sounds harsh but that’s the just penalty for sin. Someone has to die for your (and my) sin before God is satisfied the punishment has been executed. The interesting thing is that because we all are under sin, not one of us can atone for someone else. The truth is that even if I could die for your sin, so that you would live, I wouldn’t choose to. It’s like being on the ship Titanic, everyone on board knows the ship is sinking and everyone behaves under the rule of, every man for himself. I can’t help you because I’m too busy helping myself.

I need to understand that the blood of Jesus Christ covers me (once and for all). This means that when the accuser of our brethren condemns me, God sees the blood of His Son; I am righteous before God. This is my vindication. In accepting the atonement of Christ on my behalf, I must now see others as God sees me.

But how does the forgiveness of God help me forgive others?

Tomorrow I will conclude atonement and the final step to forgiving.

Footnotes:

1. 2 Peter 3:9, NIV
2. Romans 5:8, NIV
3. Genesis 22:13, NIV
4. Isaiah 53:5, NIV

References:

1. Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, By James B. Strong, S.T.D, LL.D., Riverside Book and Bible House, Iowa Falls, Iowa 50126
2. Unger's Bible Dictionary, By Merrill F. Unger, Moody Press, Chicago
3. The NIV Study Bible, Edited by Kenneth Barker, Donald Burdick, John Stek, Walter Wessel and Ronald Youngblood, Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530, USA

Forgive Them (Part 1)

Note:This post was written some time ago. At the time, I was blogging my thoughts on faith so I decided write down these thoughts that were initiated during my morning prayer; hoping for the right time to post on this topic. I am always blown away by how the Lord is patient with me and I give Him the praise. This topic has three parts so I hope you extend me some grace for writing a scroll.

Have you ever found your thoughts drifting to something you forgot about while praying? I have. I found myself doing that this morning as my mind remembered someone who offended me. I’ve come to realize that forgiving isn’t easy for me, especially when I think someone else is wrong. I may lose sight of what someone said or did but that doesn’t mean I've forgotten or forgiven them. Thinking along this path brought me to the question:

What does it mean to forgive?

I’ve heard it said that, “to forgive means to forget and never remember again; to not condemn a person for a wrong they’ve committed”. But what does it mean to forget? How can I forget when remembering is so easy to do? This morning I allowed myself to drift from prayer to meditation; contemplating the subject of forgiving.

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”¹

To have the ability to understand, that human thought is incapable of knowing how to do what is right without guidance from God, is truly remarkable. Only God has that ability; to know and do what's right. Understanding that we just don’t know what is right also means that we often don’t know what we’re doing.

How do we tap into the mind of God and forgive others? Well, I understand that I’m not God but when it comes to unforgiveness, I tend to act like a little god. I hold on to those past hurts, offenses and grudges. Why? Because I believe someone needs to be punished for what they said or did to me. I take things personally, very personally! I want vengeance, I want to return the hurt and I want to know you are being punished.

While I was meditating, it occurred to me that before Christ died for us, God knew the kind of rebellious person I would become when I entered the world, but He didn’t tell His Son, “Never mind”. Before the beginning (of creation), God (always) knew what each of us would be like and yet, He made a covenant with mankind to save us from sin and death. Every wrong act of betrayal, every rebellious act of indifference and every lust-craving attempt to satisfy our lives meant that God would have to forgive and forget.

Forgetting is the key to forgiving. How do I forget?
Have you ever misplaced something and couldn’t remember where you left it? I know that’s happened to me more times than I can count. Losing track of or misplacing something or someone is an unconscious act; we’re just not aware. That’s exactly what the thinking is behind the Hebrew definition of the word, forget.

The Hebrew word for forget is shakach (shaw-kakh’ or shaw-kay’-akh), which means, to mislay. In other words, to forget is to become oblivious of something due to the absence of memory or attention. Forgetting is putting something down and having a mindset that says, “I don’t value this at all”, so that I’m not aware of it as I walk away. I don’t typically lose things which are important to me; I value them. Something (or someone) can grab my attention causing me to lose focus and walk away from something I value. When I realize that thing I value is gone, I use my memory to recall where I last left it. I re-trace my steps until I return to that place, and there it is, just where I left it! This is why I appreciate structure in my life.

However when it comes to forgiving, you need to do more than lose focus; you need to mislay what was said or done in a way that you can no longer remember it. You see, we remember because we always go back to that place of offense. We retrace every word and action, bringing back the pain someone caused us.

I remember watching a Three Stooges sketch called Niagara Falls. Every time the phrase, Niagara Falls, was spoken, it served to remind Moe of his quest to find the man who stole his wife. It was the line, “Slowly I turned. Step by step. Inch by inch”, that always preceded a beat down of Curly. That’s what we do in remembering an offense; we turn around and go back, moment by moment, replaying every second of the offending event. We do this because:

1. We are unwilling to devalue what happened so we make ourselves unwilling to forget.
2. We are unwilling to forget what happened so we refuse to forgive.
3. We are unwilling to forgive what happened so we condemn a person to punishment.

Tomorrow, I will begin discussing the steps to forgiving.

Footnotes:

1. Luke 23:34, NIV

References:

1. Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, By James B. Strong, S.T.D, LL.D., Riverside Book and Bible House, Iowa Falls, Iowa 50126
2. Unger's Bible Dictionary, By Merrill F. Unger, Moody Press, Chicago
3. The NIV Study Bible, Edited by Kenneth Barker, Donald Burdick, John Stek, Walter Wessel and Ronald Youngblood, Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530, USA